This post by Courtney Kissinger is reprinted from LifeTeen.com
Q: I’ve noticed that every time I meet a new guy, and we start to become friends, I instantly start looking at our relationship as a potential “more than friends” kind of relationship. Sometimes I take it as far as imagining what life would be like if I did marry that person. I’m not sure how to get out of this. I want to be friends with guys. I don’t plan on entering a courtship-relationship until I’m ready to truly consider marriage, so there is really no point in taking interest right now. What should I do?
A: It’s a timeless question – can girls and guys be “just friends”? Although it can be hard during our single years to like someone without letting the thought of “could this be the one” cross our minds, I think healthy friendships can be formed. Here are my suggestions for making that happen:
1. Realize that you are fantasizing about a potential future relationship. Just being aware of your thought process will help you address it.
2. Think about how you do want to be treated in a relationship. If you know you want (and deserve) a proper courtship – then don’t settle for less! Take note of what the guy you’re obsessing over is NOT doing (eg, he hasn’t asked you out; he hasn’t asked for your parents’ permission; he’s not actively pursuing you).
3. Appreciate that the friendships you are building now are gifts in themselves. You can learn a lot though these friendships about characteristics that may be desirable in marriage someday, and that help you be a better person today. Don’t just think because you are “just friends” with some nice guy that there is no worth in your friendship.
4. Be the kind of friend that you hope other girls have been with your future husband. Maybe this means you can’t spend as much time with guy friends as you do with your girl friends, because you do start to develop feelings that aren’t going to be fulfilled right now, and that’s okay. It’s okay to give yourself that space and back off. It’s important to protect and guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
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